Trysting Fields

Magus Saga Continues, Etc

Well, the end of the month has arrived, but despite my resolution, I'm still 168 pages shy of completing The Magus.

I have been contemplating suicide, but it really wouldn't suit my style and besides, I want to find out if the ending is really as ambiguous and unsatisfying as everyone says.

The DVD of A Zed & Two Noughts I was coveting here has gone, I discovered today. However in its place was one of PG's preceding feature, The Draughtsman's Contract (pictured, below) - also with director's commentary! Go the digital revolution etc. Feeling in need of a compelling reason to live some retail therapy, and wary of being gazumped again, I bought it.

Yay, DVD of The Draughtsman's Contract with director's commentary.

What else? I happened to pass pipe-smoking Bolte Bridge participant Operative Arachni on Barkly Street this morning. I smiled at her, but I don't think she recognised me.

Here is a picture of someone else's toaster (my own is too retiring for photos):

Blah.

Blah blahdy blah blabidy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blabidy blah blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah blah blabidy blah blah. Blahdy blahdy blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah; blah blah blabidy blah blah blah blahdy blah blah blah.

Blah blah blabidy blah blah blah - blah blah blahdy blah blabidy blah blah blah, blah blah.

Blah blabidy blah, blah.

My sister wants her camera back. Silly bitch.

Neurocam is not a culture jamming exercise.
Neurocam is a misdirection virus.

(Please note: Neurocam is not a misdirection virus.)

Here is another picture of Kate Beckinsale in "Underworld"; you can never have too many:

"I'll never age and I'll never die/Unlike all the stars in the sky/I'll be young forever.. know why?"

Another Dead Flower

What does Carlos think of this one?

At Least The 'Cam Wants Me

Village didn't.

Oh well.

208 pages of The Magus to go.

Last Ever Neurocam Post?

Well, probably not. But the second half of my induction was completed earlier in the week and I really can't say anything at all about it, except that it's pretty sweet. I certainly ain't disappointed.

Hang in there, you little entry-level scamps.

As others have observed, the more you learn about the Cam the harder it becomes to talk about. But I will continue to blog about Neurocam to the extent that this is feasible. May not be all that much.

That said I have a new assignment, NIO-3001/01, which is not of itself earth-shattering in nature, and which I am not explicitly enjoined from discussing. Suffice to say it's a less diversionary equivalent of NCI-2332.

Brave New Wallet

In addition to buying clothes on Friday, I also got a new wallet. My old one was falling to pieces. Things were constantly falling out of it. I've lost four keycards in the last eight months or so because of this.

As the picture above illustrates, the new wallet is substantially smaller than the old one.

In many respects this is a good thing. However I had not entirely anticipated the extent to which the new one offers severely limited scope for one of my favourite passtimes, the obsessive collection and hoarding of random stupid crap.

My old wallet used give house room to all manner of daft accumulata. Unfortunately for the shiny novelty value of this post, I actually already partially cleaned it out when I moved. It was becoming unweildy.

Effecting the transfer nevertheless necessitated further wallet-crap cullage, and was a welcome excuse to indulge in a spot of the old ultra short term nostalgia.

From top down: plastic bag no doubt used for illicit purposes, business cards, handy Polyester Books "Get Out of Hell Free" card, old Canberran ID & membership cards, including ANU Health Club card, expiration date August 2002

Inscribed scraps of sentimental value

One and a half playing cards

Tickets for things, mostly movies. I decided to retain the ones from Melbourne and archive the ones from Canberra, which comprised the bulk of the collection (note yellowing ticket to Kill Bill Vol 1, dated 27th October 2003, in foreground)

I was unsure what to do with this particular ticket, for a 10:10pm session of Van Helsing on Monday the 30th of May 2004, at the Jam Factory Village (see previous post), which I foolishly went to see entirely on the basis that Kate Beckinsale was in it.

Here are some pictures of Kate Beckinsale:

Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing (Stephen Sommers, 2004)

Kate Beckinsale in Underworld (Len Wiseman, 2003)

Kate Beckinsale in The Aviator (Martin Scorcese, 2004)

It is an unhappy ticket; I associate it with sitting sadly on the floor of T's flat in Toorak, realising that my first attempt to move to Melbourne was doomed. And despite the formidable talents of Ms Beckinsale, the movie was absolutely dire.

But in the end I decided to retain it.

248 pages of The Magus left.

Things They Made Us Do At My Group Interview At The Jam Factory Village Yesterday

1. All fifteen or so applicants were left to wait awkwardly around silently eyeing each other up for over 25 fun-filled minutes.


2. We were given bingo-style cards with boxes containing phrases like "Has a sister", "Plays a musical instrument" "Is currently reading a novel", "Plays sport competitively" etc, and instructed to mingle and aquire signiatures from six fellow applicants in boxes whose phrases applied to them.


3. Each of us had to stand up and tell the assembled company what our favourite movie was and why, what "our goal" was, and our most embarrassing moment. I was the only person who couldn't think of a most embarrassing moment.


4. We were given transcripts of three hypothetical staff-customer interaction scenarios, divided into groups of three and instructed to discuss how well or badly each situation was handled. One nominee from each group was then required to give a short statement of the group's findings.


5. We were given eight minutes in which to complete a short standardised maths test. I only finished about a third of it. So did the guy next to me, though.


6. We were herded outside again and then called in three at a time to participate in two one-on-one roleplay exercises. These involved assimilating a sheet describing the two scenarios and some relevant information about protocols etc. I did everything right on a fuctional level but I kind of fucked up the presentation aspect of it, since by this point all I could think about was how badly I wanted the whole thing to be over.

I think the experience of participating in recent Neurocam group assignments was beneficial. The vibe of vague dread and menace engendered by the mysterious nature of the Cam was substituted with standard job-interview dread and menace, but in other respects it was an eerily similar kind of experience.

Unhappily, I miscalculated the number of pages of The Magus I had left to read. It was actually 300. Now it's 274.

The Grumpy Post About The Magus

(There was a longer version of this but it's kind of longwinded and tedious and I can't be bothered to finish it - which is of course what happens when one attempts to read longwinded and tedious books which one can't be bothered to finish - so I'll just give you the gist:)

I want to finish The Magus. It's really shitting me. I don't like it at all. The concept is interesting but the execution is very contrived. The style is soporifically ponderous and all the characters grate my tits. The narrator, especially, is a pompous, self-absorbed pillock. He reminds so much of me; it's terrible.

I want to read my Peter Greenaway book. And also, I've decided I'm going to do NaNoWriMo this year and have a pile of other books I want to read or reread in preparation. Like Georges Bataille's The Story of the Eye, which is great.

(Opens at random)

[Insert pyrotechnically surreal, lurid and obscene passage from The Story Of The Eye here.]

Let's try it with the Magus.

*flip flip flip*

[Insert bromidically dreary, overdescriptive passage from The Magus here.]

See what I mean? [Well, probably not.]

I am going to finish it by the end of the month if it kills me, a possibility which cannot be discounted. I have 200 pages to go.

This Week Has Been Crap

Well, it has. Not crap as in terrible, just crap as in nyeh. Total non-week. Except for Monday evening's little Neuroventure, that was frikken awesome. Only interesting thing that's happened all week. Pretty much getting on for the only thing I've done all week, of any note.

I went to the Henson exhibition again today. Well worth a second go. It's great. No posters for sale! Must be a rights thing. Sucks.

I am still somewhat ill. It's very tiresome.

I am going clothes shopping tomorrow. I hate clothes shopping. I find it almost impossible, especially in my current incarnation. But society (and the weather.. brr) dictates that one must have clothes.

The things I go through for you, The World.

Whoo, grumpy post.

I do have some good news. Remember how I wanted to work in a cinema? Well, I have an interview at the Jam Factory Village on Chapel Street on Monday. It's certainly not my dream cinema job (I still fancy the Astor.. or the Nova.. mmm.. Nova..) but it's a step in the right direction. And god knows, it would be a hell of a fuckload better than my present 'job'.

They rang me up out of nowhere and did a preliminary interview over the phone whilst I was en route to the airport last Friday, which was kind of startling. Apparently I did alright though. In a way it was better than a conventional job interview (ie one you know about in advance) because I didn't have time to get nervous.

What else?

I had this post on the launchpad about The Magus which is kind of grumpy too, so I might just drop it in here and have a great big ol' grumpfest but actually.. nah, I'll save it for tomorrow. Why not finish out the week in high grumpin' style? It's my blog, goddamnit.

Whatever, I'll do what I want etc.

Here is a picture of Gwen Stefani:

For some reason I'm half-watching this awful Mike Munro Chapelle Corby thing on Channel 9, and they're running this zany ongoing phone poll about her guilt-slash-innocence.

Predictably enough, the innocent vote is steadily going up as the show progresses. It's tracking how effectively it's hypnotising its viewers, then telling them about it. Awesome.

Signs

"Attention Tracey and Anne of Alma Road. Please contact Cezelia asap"

Answers on a postcard..

Also, I like this one, spotted by Operative Cronin, especially in light of my little adventure on Monday.

Xul Is Dead

Long live Xul.

Assignment MIA-0009/5 (Part 2)

So, at approximately 7:50 this evening, a white stretch limo pulled up outside the Belgian Beer Cafe on Moubray Street, Prahran, where two other operatives (one blogging, one not) and myself were waiting as instructed.

The driver ushered us inside. Two masked, silent Neurocam personnel sat at either end of a long seat facing a bar. The limo pulled out and we were each handed several documents (including two copies of a hefty engagement contract), a pen, and a set of headphones.

A laptop (one of those adorable baby powerbooks) had been placed on the bar, and instructions were delivered to us through it by way of a video address by a masked woman. Once she had finished speaking, an onscreen timer counted down the ten minutes we were given in which to examine the documents and complete certain tasks pertaining to them, which we did before being returned to our departure point.

Upon alighting from the limo we were each presented with an enigmatic souvenir.

We then proceeded into the Belgian Beer Cafe and had a drink.

Neurocam Assignment MIA-0009/05

This long-awaited missive landed in my inbox on Thusday:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam Assignment – Monday May 16th 2005
Date: 12 May 2005 8:30:35 PM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

Please be aware that due to availability constraints you are requested to be available for an assignment relating to your offer of promotion on Monday May 16th between 7:30 and 8:30pm. This schedule is now compulsory, and any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

The exact timing and location and other operational requirements will be provided via the usual email communication during the day in question. Please advise immediately if this will be a problem for you. I can say, however, that the intended location you will need to travel to will be in the vicinity of [where I live].

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

As advised, that was followed this morning by this:

From: operations@neurocam.com
Subject: Neurocam International Assignment MIA – 0009/05
Date: 16 May 2005 10:06:04 AM

Dear Operative [Teigan]

This evening, Monday May 16, 2005, at 7:45 pm precisely, you are to be at the following location: [public location in the inner south of Melbourne]

Be wearing your Neurocam Identifier if it is in operational condition. If it is not in operational condition you must display evidence of your Neurocam membership.

Your attendance is compulsory and you must come alone. Any deviation will result in the retraction of your promotion offer and potential dismissal from Neurocam International.

Regarding operational security: you are permitted to publicly note the purpose of the assignment, and it impact on you as an operative of Neurocam International, and describe the events involved in the assignment, but you are not permitted to reveal the details of any messages, conversations, documents, reports, or other communications beyond the two preparatory assignment arrangement emails.

I trust you will understand and abide by the intent of these security requirements. Further security guidelines will be provided as required and relevant to the issues and eventualities arising out of this evening’s assignment.

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

And That Was The End Of That

The parental farewell party in Canberra went well. But I felt very numb all weekend; couldn't really get my head around what was happening. It didn't seem real.

It doesn't seem right for such a significant change to occur whilst I've still got one foot in the void. My family home where I spent so many years of my life has just disintegrated, and it's like I missed the whole thing. It's sad.

I found my microphone.

And I got some new jeans.

As predicted the highlight of the trip was seeing my youngest sister, who is very special. She's quite selfish and has been a right bitch to me on a fair number of occasions, without ever saying sorry. I think I've damaged her quite badly in some ways, although I didn't mean to. She's never entirely gotten over certain things, even after four years.

But for all our history, I still love her so much and probably always will. I fantasize sometimes that one day we will be the best of friends again, and make art together happily ever after. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know.

She seems to be doing alright. Although she has developed a serious text messaging addiction.

After the party on Saturday night, we played traditional stoned cards in my old room. It wasn't like the old days at all, but it was nice.

I painted these walls red after I got home from Wales at the beginning of 2000.

That is all.

Home Again, Home Again

Spiggeldy spog.

Just got in. Feel drained and overwhemingly sad. But once again it feels very nice to be home. And enormously weird that it feels like this is my home.

But it is. I have no home at home anymore. Canberra is an alien place with no home to go to which fills me with sadness.

Sad, sad; feel very sad. La la la. Sad, sad, sad.

Took lots of pictures. Spect I'll post some tomorrow.

I wonder what this week will be like.

Something interesting is happening tomorrow evening.

The Troops Are Getting Restless

Dissatisfaction abroad in the Neuroranks: Jo rants, Lady J agrees (as does Simon Blackmoore), Li flakes out, and Reanimator drops the bomb.

R's articulate points aside I wonder how much all of this really has to do with the 'Cam itself, and how much of it is down to frustration at all the timewasting, bandwagon-hijacking idiots who seem to have gravitated towards it over the last little while.

Dissatisfied with being a virtual recluse?

Well, get out more. So sayeth the Reani-man, pragmatically enough, and sound advice it is too.

(Actually I'm not a virtual recluse; many of my online personas are the quite social butterflies..)

I had lunch today at Lentil As Anything, a funny little vegan cafe on Blessington Street with an appealingly unpretentious boho vibe and an innovative "pay whatever the fuck you feel like" pricing policy. Here is someone else blogging about it in a manner which captures the tone quite nicely.

I had a lentil burger with satay sauce (and a lasse), and paid $15

Last night I was going to go a talk by photographer Bill Henson (not to be confused with the late Jim Henson), who is good, at the Ian Potter Centre (the NGV's secondary premises at Federation Square, housing Australian art - which, shamefully, I only discovered existed last week whilst executing Neurocam Assignment 5555/01). They are currently hosting a major Henson retrospective.

Unfortunately I missed the talk because I got on the wrong tram. Stupid wrong tram.

This weekend I'm making another flying visit to Canberra; my folks are throwing a farewell party before upping stakes to Switzerland. My previous visit - see archive - was a bit of a downer and I'm not particularly looking forward to it, but I will at least get to hang with my beloved baby sister, who is travelling all the way from the far reaches of darkest Queensland for the occasion.

"You know why the lemmings fly from high terrain.."

Actually, You Know, I Quite Like Public Transport

But it can be restrictive.

On 04/05/2005, at 5:02 PM, Charles Hastings (operations@neurocam.com) wrote:
Specific times and your personal transport status are also required.

Sorry Charlie..

Assignment NTC-5555/01 Completed

Fischer in LA (part 2) & The Matrix @ The Astor

Mail from Madeline Khan:

I hereby confirm that Ms. Bridget Fischer is currently traveling abroad and that the west coast of the United States of America is one of her many intended destinations. Furthermore, I can confirm that I am the author of the email recently reproduced upon Operative Midnight’s web journal.

Also, Melbournites: The Matrix is screening at the Astor in St Kilda tomorrow night. Never seen it in a cinema before. Bit exciting. I'm certainly not the only Cammer who's a fan of this movie; anyone else thinking of going?

I'll be wearing my identifier..

I've Cleared My Inbox

I had unanswered emails dating back to February 22nd.

I feel so virtuous right now I could just die.

*aaatch..* Avery, Xul & Urik; Fischer in LA; Moncrief Full Of Shit: Zelle; Vale Aliask and Assignment 5555/01 *..hoo!!*

Been very slack on the bloggage front of late; touch of flu and not much worth reporting. Apologies.

Everything looks exceptionally hazy in Camland at present. The Neurowiki (Wikicam?) appears to be coming along nicely but if its objective is to serve as a source for accurate info, I kind of wonder if it isn't a doomed project. As is the case more often than not, the line between fact and fiction's so blurry right now that the distinction seems almost irrelevant.

Avery's supposedly arrived here in Melbourne. But with his previous post he seems to have warped into the Xulosphere. (Hi Avery, if you're reading this and you really are in town. Feel free to invalidate my skepticism.)

Meanwhile I - and presumably others - have received a mail purportedly from Xul's associate Urik, advising that Mr. Solar has gone into hiding and ceased all internet communications, although he remains "in excellent physical and mental health". Which is reassuring.

I've lodged an enquiry regarding Midnight's claims about Fischer's trip to LA. His latest entry, quoting a mail from Madeline Khan, suggests that there is genuinely something going down there, even if it is just more smoke and, y'know, mirrors.

Gertrude Zelle has told tobyesterhase aka Operative Cronin that Marc Moncrief's legendary Age article, responsible for introducing many a Melbourne operative (including this one) to the 'Cam, is "a potentially slanderous fiction, complied by him from half-truths, materials of questionable veracity and blatant lies." Cronin intends to contact Moncrief about this accusation, which might prove interesting.

In other news, one of my local neuroblogging contemporaries, Aliask (Perception Assessment class of January 3rd - here's his, here's a mine.. ah, the good old days etc) has retired; apparently he couldn't be arsed with Assignment 5555/01, and I don't think he's the only one.

But, good little operative that I am, I faithfully completed the bulk of mine on Friday; hopefully I'll be able to finish it off on Tuesday.

(this space intentionally left blank)

Sullenest cat I have ever seen:

Street I saw it on:

NeuroWiki

Neuroboardie Dev has set up a Neurocam wiki. If enough people get on board this could grow into an excellent resource.

Greenaway

I often feel like I've been struck by lightning.

I want to watch Peter Greenaway's 1980 short Act of God again. It's a documentary comprising a series of interviews with lightning strike victims. Lightning strike is recognisable as a phenomenon comparable to the mysterious Violent Unknown Event at the centre of Greenaway's subsequent feature debut The Falls.

I originally saw both films about ten years ago, deep in the bowels of the National Library, where you could watch 16mm prints from the enormous film collection that they used to hold (which I believe now lives at Screensound) on quaint old Steenbeck viewing tables.

I was completely and totally obsessively in love with Greenaway's work throughout my teenage years. It was the centre of my whole world. I want to get reaquainted with it.

I still possess dodgy VHS recordings (mostly taped off Eat Carpet over the years) of a number of his early shorts (H Is For House, Water Wrackets, Windows, Dear Phone and A Walk Through H), but not Act of God. And I've still never even seen Vertical Features Remake.

I really need to get these two DVDs.

I rescued these two books about PG from my parents sinking ship of a house:

Museums & Moving Images by David Pascoe and The Films of Peter Greenaway by Amy Lawrence

If I ever finish The Magus (I'm not going to give up on it now, but like others I've found it a tad bromidic) I'm going to read at least the Lawrence one again.*

And if I ever resolve my current deeply unsatisfactory employment situation, I'm going to celebrate by buying this DVD edition of A Zed & Two Noughts that I discovered at Chronicles on Fitzroy Street the other day, which features a director's commentary track. My sixteen-year-old self would probably have keeled over dead with sheer excitement at such a prospect.

*Sidebar watchers will have noticed that I'm also currently reading Scepticism Inc by Bo Fowler - at work, since The Magus is a bit too bulky to fit comfortably in my pocket. It's narrated by a sentient shopping trolley. It's about a man who runs a metaphysical betting shop, which makes a killing because - metaphysical propositions being inherently unverifiable - it never ever has to pay out. These are just two of many great things about it.

No Man Is Just A Number (Supposedly)

It's all about The Prisoner, apparently.

Not seen it myself but the premise sounds intruiging.

Constance Envy

I just know her gratuitous tit post will attract more comments than mine.

So unfair.