Trysting Fields

Neville Harris Resigns

From our glorious leader:

Attention all staff and operatives.

Earlier today Mr. Neville Harris, head of Neurocam International’s Administration Division, tendered his resignation due to personal reasons. This resignation will be effective as of close of business today (Friday, April 28, 2005).

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Harris for his 6 years of loyal service to Neurocam International and I hereby wish Mr. Harris all the best with his future endeavors.

Due to Mr. Harris resignation, however, the position of Administrator has been deemed redundant and a new position has been created to address many of the issues previously dealt with by Mr. Harris.

Mr. Miles Carrefour has been awarded the position of “Induction Officer” within the Human Resources Security Division and will now handle many of the tasks previously assigned to Mr. Harris.

Mr. Harris’ e-mail address will remain active for fourteen days and all correspondence from it will be forward directly to Mr. Miles Carrefour (miles.carrefour@neurocam.com). After this two week period, Mr. Harris’ email account will be deleted from our system.

Regards,

Bridget Fischer
Chief Executive Officer
Neurocam International

It seems likely that this resignation was precipitated by Harris's accidental circulation to all operatives and staff earlier today of a mail intended only for Neurocam management.

City of the Damned

Here (4MB mp3) is a cover version of a song by The Gothic Archies called "City of the Damned" which I recorded last year and have just now gotten around to mixing properly. Well... to mixing, anyway.

Dedicated to Li - despite anticipating that, as someone who's actually studied sound recording, his only reaction is likely to be one of abject horror.

Cardoza To Visit Auckland; 'Cam Community Baffled

It's old news now but still worth a post: Avery "The New Number 2" Cardoza (no, I don't know either) is intent on following the Neurotrail all the way to New Zealand. And "points thereafter".

Good luck, Avery. Whatever the hell you're doing.

Astor

This is the current program poster for the Astor, AFAIK the only dedicated revival house in Melbourne (apart from ACMI, which doesn't really count). The previous occupant of my domicile was on their mailing list so I've been faithfully putting these up on my wall since November, but although I've passed by the premises a number of times I hadn't actually patronised them until last night.

I went to a double of Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby (I quite liked his previous effort Mystic River) and Hotel Rwanda (as endorsed by Operative Li).

It looks pretty run down from the outside... and it is. But the facade doesn't do justice to the interior; it's wonderfully grandiose inside. It has this whole faded glamour thing going. The auditorium is beautiful.

Seeing as how I was ten minutes late for the session and had to be torched in I couldn't quite muster the nerve to ask them to give me a job. But they're high on my list...

Assignment NTC-5555/01

Received today. Who else?

Miles Carrefour

They just keep on coming - Simon Blackmoore reports yet another new Neurocam rep: Miles Carrefour, Induction Officer, Human Resources Security Division. Apparently handling new applications.

Google doesn't know anything about him, but I'm sure I've heard this name before somewhere.

Cleaning

Flower

Erratum

Fischer's assistant is Madeline Khan, not Kahn.

Tampons

I found these on a footpath today. The plastic wrapper is entirely intact. Score!

Tempted as I naturally am to break them out and line them up on my desk next to a glass of red cordial, in which to dunk them before lobbing them at people passing beneath my window, I have decided instead - being of an intrinsically giving disposition - to send them to someone. The question is: who? Readers are invited to submit short pitches (no more than 100 words, please).

Dogs

Sam, slightly bewildered indoors

Sammy the retarded keeshond will be coming to live in Melbourne soon, at my sister's house in Fitzroy. I don't know how he'll cope with the change. He's pretty fucking senile, and there'll be a lot less space there than he's used to. It'll be great to be able to hang with him a bit more often, though. I think upon encountering me the other week it took him a while to remember who I was.

Sam, somewhat disoriented in the garden

Here is a 35mm picture I took of him in 2003 (so long film, nice knowing you etc) and printed at Photoaccess:

Back in the day, long before my folks inherited Sam from my Mum's cousin in 2003, we had a much loved black kelpie labrador cross called Sally, purchased as a puppy from the RSPCA in about 1988. I came home one day in 1996 to find her lying in the sun by the study window, a favoured spot of hers, unexpectedly stone dead. She was only eight. She's under the compost heap now.

Moment of silence for Sally. I wish I had a picture of her.

Urk

Sorry about that last post.

Look, I just boiled some eggs:

I like a nice boiled egg of a morning. They're full of protein you know. Mmm, protein.

And now I have to go to work. I'm gonna be late.
I wonder if I should post about work.
I could take some photos.
Or not.

Decisions, decisions..

I Want To Live & I Want To Love

I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of.

(Oh dear.)

Reckless, angsty drunken post alert!!

Ah. I've just been down the Espy with my cousin. We saw a band. Frustratingly we couldn't establish what they were called but they were great. They were kind of like a folksier, nerdier, less angry version of System of a Down. They had a Bez-esque useless member who stood around for the duration of the set in a t-shirt saying 'Sam', looking comically kind of bemused and lost, sipping a beer, occasionally pretending to take calls on his phone. He was superb. He reminded me somewhat of my parent's neurotic stunned mullet of a dog, who is also called Sam (mental note: post about Sam the neurotic stunned mullet of a dog.) We made extended eye contact several times. I think although he was only pretending to look bemused and lost for performance art purposes, whilst I was genuinely feeling quite bemused and lost, we forged a point of connection, since he was doing it up on stage in front of quite a lot of people and probably appreciated having a genuinely bemused and lost person to connect with as a reference point.

It was great in general.

I never, ever go out to gigs and things like that these days. I don't really have any friends, you see. He said tragically. It's terrible.

I really had fun tonight. But my god. I'm twenty-eight. I never go out any more. I don't really have any friends. I worry that my social skills are completely atrophying through disuse. I sometimes go days at a time without speaking to anyone.

I have to find ways of turning this situation around. I'm missing my life. It's just sort of swhooshing by and I'm standing there looking on with this kind of bemused expression, like Sam the bemused stunned mullet of a fifth wheel.

I always thought one day I'd be dancing and laughing and finally living, and hear Morrissey's voice in my head, and think of him kindly. I kind of got there too, sort of, ish, for a while there. I actually had that moment. But now I've retreated back into reclusion again.

It's so not good.

I feel like such an indadmissable freak.

I'd love to go out more. But I'm just so afraid of people.

(And I'm so drunk. I really shouldn't be posting this.)

(But.. it's important! I want to live, goddamn it!

I want to love!

Etectera!)

Wrong as I know it is, though, I need help. Ultimately in social contexts the charity and goodwill of others can only take one so far. One must be self-sufficient. I know this. I do; I rooly trooly do. But I need some fucking mentoring. I've become a complete fucking recluse. I need help.

I can't promise to be wildly entertaining company; I can't promise not to become tiresomely maudlin and self-piteous and pathetic once drunk. But I know that you would like me, if only you could see me etc. and I need to get out more. I'm a potentially perfectly good person who is just going completely to waste.

Anyone reading this.

There must be ways to become a person who has a proper life. Who goes out, and socializes, and stuff.

There must be.

There must be.

I had such a good night tonight. It was fun. I was drunk. I danced. I flirted with strangers. I felt alive. I must go out more.

I am a socially retarded reclusive freakboy with no friends and I am too old to be feeling this unsure of myself.

SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

I really shouldn't post this really.

*throws caution to the wind, posts it anyway*

I throw it open to the floor: When you want to live, how do you start? Where do you go? Who do you need to know?

I have regressed to an awkward 16-year-old. I can't believe it; but that is where I'm at.

Help me out here people.

(Almost) Everybody Hates Gertrude Zelle

Known blogging operatives who have reported receiving bitchy email responses from Gertrude Zelle: Another Operative; Elmo; Gigabane; tobyesterhase; Roger That and Exodus (although he was probably asking for it).

Reanimator reports contact with another previously unknown Neurocam staffer - Bridget Fischer's assistant, Madeline Kahn (presumably not this Madeline Kahn, who is dead).

Toasts, Assing etc

Toasts to Maxwell:

Lady J toasting me toasting Li toasting Midnight toasting Constance, Avery & Lady J toasting Maxwell.

Gigabane toasting Cheshire Cat toasting Tobyesterhase toasting me toasting Li toasting Midnight toasting Constance, Avery & Lady J toasting Maxwell

Back in late February there were some murmurings about schisms & double-crossage in the upper Neuroranks from Jojo & Tript, amongst other sources. In serialising the background to his recent dismissal, Avery seems to be throwing more light on these rumours, and it's shaping up as quite the expose.

Bridge & Charlie- who'd a thunk it?

And another neweuroblogger: Simon Blackmoore.

Two New Operative Blogs & Gertie Zelle

Two new operative blogs: American Guy of Melbourne and Gigabane of Newfoundland, Canada.

New acting Human Resources Security head Gertrude Zelle is not winning too many friends amongst the rank & file. Although it seems she has an unlikely fan in the Maxwell-besotted Constance.

There's Nothing Like Procrastination For Getting Things Done

I bounced out of bed at 6:30am this morning. I've done cardio at the gym, gotten myself a haircut, done a few miscellaneous errands, made and consumed a novelty cooked breakfast (pictured, above), had a driving lesson, and done a load of warsh (pictured, below). And taken some pictures and blogged them, self-evidently enough. And it's only just gone 1:30pm! Can this frenetic pace be maintained? Will the momentum of this morning's industry carry me through the dreaded but highly necessary CV-rejiggage scheduled for this afternoon? Stay tuned! (Or don't! See if I care! Screw you, hypothetical reader; hope you die!)

(nb Not really.)

The Post Office Post

I haven't shaved for a week. I left my toiletries behind in Canberra.

My folks posted my stuff back to me. I bought a new toothbrush to tide me over until it arrived, but not a new razor.

Notification of a parcel arrived on Friday.

I went down to the post office off Acland Street to pick it up today.

More observant readers will already have anticipated that this was in fact the wrong post office. My parcel was being held at a post office which is actually a newsagent on Fitzroy Street.

After stopping at the supermarket, and also making an appointment for a haircut tomorrow (the hair on my head is getting a bit unkempt 'n' all), I walked over there.

I passed this milkbar just off Grey Street. Bizarrely, directly across the road, there's a sign indicating a different milkbar 20 metres down the street in the opposite direction. One can only assume the City of Port Philip has some kind of grudge against the proprietors of this particular milkbar.

I arrived at the post office which is actually a newsagent just before they closed at 5:30pm and retrieved the parcel.

I came home and found, to my substantial surprise and delight, that the phone and leckie bills had both arrived - conveniently reminding me that I really need to get another job.

I unpacked my shopping: I bought tuna, tomatoes and apples.

And I opened the package. In addition to my toiletries, it contained a wayward pair of socks I didn't even realise were missing.

Here are some more photos I took today for the purposes of not working on my CV:

The kitchen sink & the bathroom sink, respectively

The space directly to the left of my tv

Cardoza Axed

Respected NYC operative Avery Cardoza has been unceremoniously dumped. Avery - who'll hopefully continue to blog in some form - has now provided a bit of eyebrow-raising background to his Neurodismissal.

Seems Cardoza Investigations was assisting former Human Resources Security head Maxwell Knight with some kind of internal sleuthing exercise. Avery quotes a mail to him from Maxwell dated April 16th:

Regarding the fruits of my investigation, I will contact you with the results following my meeting with senior management of Monday April 18, 2005. I do, however, have high hopes of unmasking the Judas who lurks within our midst.

It was presumably at this meeting that Maxwell 'resigned'.

Hmmmmmm...

UPDATE: Conchis is back online, admitting that his blogjacking by Circle De Luce was a hoax designed to test the integrity of the Cam's Jack Sampson. He offers some possible insight into Maxgate.

Gertrude Zelle Is The New Maxwell Knight

Another new addition to the official Neuroranks: Gertrude Zelle.

From: Bridget Fischer
To: All Neurocam Staff
Subject: ALL STAFF NOTIFICATION. RE: Maxwell Knight.
Date: 18 April 2005 11:09:47 AM

Attention all staff and operatives.

Earlier today Mr. Maxwell Knight, head of Neurocam’s Human Resources Security Division, tendered his resignation due to personal reasons. This resignation will be effective as of close of business today (Monday, April 18 2005).

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Knight for his 17 years of loyal service to Neurocam International. His presence in the office has always been a reassuring factor for me and he has brought a highly appreciated debonair flair to the office environment. His contribution to the day-to-day operations of the organization was immense and he will be sorely missed.

I hereby wish Mr. Knight all the best with his future endeavors.

Until such time as the position is advertised internally, Ms. Gertrude Zelle, former assistant to Mr. Knight, will fill the position of Head of the Human Resources Security Division. Please direct any Human Resources Security queries directly to Ms. Zelle at (gertrude.zelle@neurocam.com).

Mr. Knight’s e-mail address will remain active for fourteen days and all correspondence from it will be forward directly to Ms. Zelle. After this two week period, Mr. Knight’s e-mail account will be deleted from our system.

Regards,

Bridget Fischer
Chief Executive Officer
Neurocam International

Conchis Sabotaged (Again)

Dan Pritchard's blog has ostensibly been 0wn3d by the Circle De Luce. Cheshire Cat has more.

Jack Samson & Otti Votavova

Constance has been corresponding with two official Neurocam people who aren't Hastings, Fischer, Knight or Harris: "Otti Votavova", via the operations address generally used by Charles, and "Jack Sampson", via Maxwell's address.

Jack Sampson was the primary Neurocam contact of somewhat suspect London operative Conchis aka Dan Pritchard.

Pritchard has contacted her about this.

The Feustus Memorial Fishtank Cleaning Post

The former fishtank of Feustus the goldfish was cleaned out yesterday in a short ceremony intended to symbolise both the sadness of loss and the consoling hope of renewal. The order of proceedings was as follows:

1. The stagnating water once occupied by the departed was poured down the sink. As a gesture of respect, no photo was taken during this stage of the operation.




2. The newly deliquified fishtank was placed on the stove with its Christmas ribbon artfully draped off one side, and captured for posterity.




3. An additional photograph was taken, emphasising the presence of the gravel in the fishtank.




4. The gravel was transferred transitionally to a large ceramic mixing bowl chosen especially for the purpose, and photographed in this new setting.




5. The fishtank was carefully cleaned using hot water and a new wettex, opened expressly for the ceremony and subsequently disposed of, with no regard to expense.




6. The fishtank was placed on a draining rack and photographed once again.




7. The gravel was returned to the fishtank.




8. The tank was returned to its home on the bookshelf, to await the arrival of a new occupant. A final photograph was taken, marking the conclusion of the ceremony.

Things I Did In Canberra (Part 5)

More Japanese food

On Tuesday I had lunch with Mum in Woden, and then frustratingly failed to meet up with the most excellent T - he of the advising me to learn to drive - due to his being unexpectedly detained at work. But he'll be in Melbourne in two weeks; hopefully we can do it then.

E came round to see me off on Tuesday arvo. Then Dad gave me a lift to the airport and I went.. home, ie back to Melbourne, aka here. When I walked in the door of my place in St Kilda, I had this really quite pleasing sense of arriving home. It was nice. I unpacked, made some dinner, did the washing up, watched The Bill, transferred photos from my camera.

Went to bed feeling cozy and nice.

Things I Did In Canberra (Part 4)

I took quite a lot of pictures of the house. It didn't really sink in before I left what an end-of-era event this visit would be; that I probably won't be back in the Can' for ages and ages.

When I do go back, the family home won't be there anymore. If I'd thought more about it in advance, I prolly would have brought the transfer cable and systematically gone out and about taking loads and loads of pictures.

That would have added a bit more focus to the trip, which might've been a good thing. But revisiting lots of old haunts for documentation purposes would have made me incredibly sad.

Everything to do with Canberra makes me so sad these days. I hope that will change. I have lots of happy memories of the place were I grew up, along with all the sad ones. But I've been so unhappy there for so much of the time latterly that those associations pretty much obscure all the others. They did on this visit, anyway.

Things I Did In Canberra (Part 3)

I had to do a certain amount of sortage and retrieval of old crap because of the imminent parental move to Geneva.

The house is full of boxes.

Things I Did In Canberra (Part 2)

On Friday evening I went to dinner at Anise on West Row with Mum & Dad, for Mum's birthday. We got hijacked numerous times by other people at the restaurant my folks (mostly Dad) knew, which was very Canberran.

I went out on Saturday night with my friend E. We drank beer at Filthy McFaddens and ate Japanese before evacuating his native Kingston for Civic. We played pool at Toast, had traditional semi-drunken coffee at Gus's, and then, for reasons which remain less than entirely clear to me, went and saw Sahara, which was crap.

I got a couple of driving practice sessions in with my mother. My clutching is improving, but my steering needs work.

4 hours down, 116 to go..

On Sunday I had a luxuriously long talk with my sister M (who, unlike my other sister, is definitely not getting married), currently residing at a hostel in Cairns and unphoneable except on her mobile. We used to be very close. We're less close these days, but it was still fantastic to talk to her.

Things I Did In Canberra (Part 1)

On Friday morning I went out Belconnen way to visit my friend S.

Breathtaking views of picturesque Belco bus interchange.

His lifestyle seems very downwardly mobile these days.

But it was good to see him, I guess. He is currently living with two other guys and two kittens, who are brother and sister. For some reason I forget their names.

I didn't realise how dodgy the first picture looked until after I took it.

Airport

I was late for my 3:30pm flight to Canberra last Thursday. I had to get a taxi from Swanston Street.



But I missed the flight all the same, by about two places in the checkin queue, and had to wait for the next one at 6pm.

I took some pictures of the airport but none of them came out very well.

Ask Not What Neurocam Can Do For You...

The official Neurocam application has changed - now aspiring operatives have to submit "between 250 and 300 words on what [they] have to offer Neurocam".

Neuroblog Roundup

If Xade's to be believed, Quilly and Operative Ice (whose blogs have both gone down) are one and the same - and they've been given the Neuro-axe.

Tobyesterhase continues to put the tough questions to Maxwell Knight.

And it turns out his fellow Buffalo, NY operative Bob the Mediocre has a blog after all.

Operative Reanimator & NYC Group Assignment

Operative Reanimator of the l337 chess sk11z has a a blog. With pictures.

And Constance has (some) news of the group assignment in New York City tomorrow.

And That Was Canberra

Tonight is the last night of my Canberra sojurn. The folks are moving to Geneva in a few months; I might not be back here again for years.

I don't know what to say. I was going to blog the whole thing but I don't know what sort of spin to put on it. It's been cathartic in some ways and banal in others. It brought me back to the place I was in when I moved in November to some degree, which was horrible.

It was sad and strange and made me glad I don't live here anymore.

Taken quite a few pictures; 'spect I'll post some of them when I get back.

I just had a really lovely conversation with my Dad, which is worth mentioning.

Assignment NTC-5781/01 Postmortemage

Jojo's posted the assignment and an account, Tript has a nice photo of himself along with a few well-chosen words, and Wednesday night attendee (and new blogger) Melbourne Wintermute (as distinct from German Wintermute) has posted his report.

I went on Tuesday. I beat Li, got thrashed like everyone else by Operative Reanimator, and got half a game in with Jojo before 10pm rolled around. I chatted to Tript about John Wayne Gacy's horrible painting, and had encounters with a few other ops as well. It was simultaneously more convivial than the Bolte assignment, and also more intense. I liked it.

Assignment NTC-6421/02 Regretfully Declined & Canberra

Well, I submitted my report on Assignment NTC-5781/01 this morning and have already received another, Assignment NTC-6421/02. Unfortunately I've had to knock it back for not-in-town-this-weekend reasons.

Got to Canberra. Missed my flight, but caught the next one. Just had dinner with my father. Caught up with the dog. Made & confirmed various arrangements with various people. Wrapped a birthday present for my mother, who is 56 tomorrow. Happy birthday, Mum.

It feels really funny being here.

In The Industry We Call These 'Cigarette Burns'

The largest one was made by holding a lighter to my wrist.

I did most of them between 1995 and 1997. A couple in 2000.

I never used to think about the scars very much, but I've become a bit self-conscious about them over the last year or so.

My sister of the getting-marriedness - who is a photography student - is doing a series on scars. She herself has significant scarring on her neck and stomach as a result of several operations for various types of cancer. We spent yesterday afternoon at her place taking pictures of me and my arms.

She is getting married. Have I mentioned that already?

This afternoon I'm off to Canberra 'til Tuesday.

You're Funny, Neurocam

In both senses. Thank you for a weird but enchanting evening.

I still don't understand, but I think I love you.

Anyone game for some kind of extracamricular get together at some point? Tahiti at the end of the year seems too far away.

In other surreal news, my sister is getting married.

My sister is getting married

My sister is getting married.

This is going to take a while to process.

Here's A Post About Learning To Drive

Around August last year, in response to one of my then-not-infrequent bouts of handwringing but-what-shall-I-doery, a friend and sometime mentor of sorts suggested that I should get my license, buy a kombi and go on a road trip around the country. I wasn't sure about the roadtrip or the kombi, but the learning-to-drive idea seemed a good one. The hassles of getting around Melbourne on public transport sealed the deal; I got my Ls in February and have started taking lessons.

I had my third proper session out on the road yesterday. It's very weird. I wonder to what extent it feels weird because of my age (28). Unsurprisingly, all of VicRoads' learner driver promo material is leveled squarely at a teen demographic.

In some ways it's much easier than I'd expected, in some ways a lot harder. I'm starting to feel more comfortable on the roads but I still have great difficulty assimilating all the information you have to process simultaneously. Successfully co-ordinating the accelerator and the clutch is also proving a challenge. I stalled three times yesterday. I half wonder if I shouldn't just learn on an automatic. But I'm jaundiced by my mother's consistent assertion that they're "not real cars".

My instructor is this rather stern and incredibly worldweary old French guy called Moshe. He spends a disconcerting amount of time during our lessons playing with his Treo, but he's always on hand to grab the steering wheel when I'm just about to kill a cyclist or slam on the breaks before I plough into the back of a police van. I like him.

Here's a nice article by Suzanne Vega, of all people, about learning to drive on the streets of New York City at the age of 43.

Work

Sooner or later I'm going to have to get another job. I'd like to work in a cinema. Concomitant to liking movies, I like cinemas. I've worked in two previously.

Firstly this one, from 1997 to 1999. I was also apprenticed to the projectionist there for a while. Prior to discovering Peter Greenaway at the age of 14 and deciding I wanted to be a film director, my ambition was to become a lighthouse keeper. Lighthouse keeping is a dead profession, alas, but I reckoned projectionism would be the next best thing. In some ways even better; lighthouse keepers can't splice single frames of pornography into children's films. Unfortunately what with increased automation, not to mention the inevitable imminent digitalisation of cinema exhibition, it's also a dying trade.

Subsequently, in London, I worked at this incredibly cool and scruffy old revival house in Hampstead called the Everyman. It's since been sold and upmarketed beyond all recognition, which is sad.

The downside of seeking employment in a cinema is that it will involve cold canvassing, which - shy & retiring semi-recluse that I've become - fills me with unholy dread. Also, I don't really feel like I've been taking enough interest in movies lately to be very convincing as a prospective cinema employee.

(Digression: Didn't get to Sideways, due to its timing being misadvertised; saw The Life Aquatic instead. It wasn't great, but it was unique, and had a number of absolutely classic moments. And it looked really nice as well.)

One of the great virtues of my current job is that pretty much anything would be a step up from it, so I'm not hidebound by snobbery. I'm easy. As long as it doesn't involve really severe public humiliation, or cold-call telemarketing. Or wearing a suit, goddammit.

All of this is theoretical at the moment, though, coz I'm going to Canberra next weekend before hitting the employment trail.

Neurocam Assignment NTC-5781/01

Charlie loves me after all.

To: Neurocam Operations Division
From: Teigan
Date: 2 April 2005 8:07:37 PM

Charles -

Am I correct in assuming that, despite advising of my availability on the 5th and 6th of April as requested, I have not been chosen to participate in the associated assignment, as advertised at http://ex0.blogspot.com/2005/03/did-you-get-yours.html?

Operative Teigan

To: Teigan
From: Neurocam Operations Division
Date: 3 April 2005 12:04:36 PM

Dear Operative Teigan

Our records show that you have indeed been selected for this assignment. Perhaps it was filtered by your email package? Can you please confirm receipt of this email.

Here it is again:

[snip]

Regards,

Charles Hastings
Head, Operations Division
Neurocam International

And I've scored a comment from the scary but ever-engaging Desci. W0Ot!

Hmph

Got this? Yes.
Get this? No.

Consarn it.

Neurocam Unveiled!

Massively explosive revelations at Chez Tript, exposing at long last the true purpose and origins of Neurocam.

!!!

Some cynics have suggested the post's got something to do with today's date, but pay no mind - they're just jealous they didn't think of uncover it first.

Fuck The ATO

With absolutely impeccable timing, the Tax Office has decided that I owe them $300. From 2003. With interest.

I hope they die.

Bleary-Eyed Ramblings, or I Dream Of Constance

I dreamt last night that I was a girl, specifically Constance. I've mused about being Constance before. I don't know why, other than that I think she's cool. And I've often fantasized about being a girl. I don't think I'm a repressed transsexual or anything. I just reckon it would be awesome. Girls are much nicer than boys. Or at least much more appealing.

Tangent: In my early teens I was completely obsessed with periods. I only found out mentruation existed when I was, like, twelve. This was possibly the origin of my interest in the occult. I was just astounded that this bizarre and horrendous phenomenon had been going on all around me all my life, completely sheilded from my view.

This unhealthy preoccupation was only entirely cured when, at the age of 22, I fulfilled my long term ambition of actually having sex with a menstruating woman, something I will never, ever do again.

I ran out of cigarettes last night. I thought not having any would motivate me to bounce out of bed bright and early this morning and go to the gym. But instead I just lingered in bed for a really, really long time. Then I went out in my pyjamas to buy some and came back home to drink coffee and blog. I'm a disgrace.

In other news, Jojo & Xade report excitably that Tori Amos is coming to town.

I saw her last time she toured 'Straya which was, I believe, in, like, 1994. Sort of tempted. (But upon glancing at the latest incarnation of her website: she really badly needs to fire her current stylist. Admittedly, though, so do I. Or at least I would, if I had one.) I haven't heard her current album, but I grew to love Scarlet's Walk, despite an iffy relationship between us at first.

I can't really afford it, though, especially since.. well, I'm so shat off about this actually I think a separate post may be in order.